Musings & more...

The Joy of Small Things

2011-05-28T06:49:00.003+05:30

As I stood blowing soap bubbles, I attracted quite a few glances from passersby. I can well imagine the thoughts passing through their mind (but, I’d rather not mention them). The fact is I was thoroughly enjoying myself. Perfect, shiny, bubbles of varying sizes, glistening in the evening sun floating aimlessly till they burst into nothingness. Such a joy watching them!

As a child I could spend hours visualizing the patterns in the clouds or watching ants at work. The movement of a butterfly flitting from flower to flower was exciting. So was a spider spinning a web. Collecting the pretty orange and white flowers of the parijata in our courtyard and threading them to decorate the neck of the Lord gave me immense joy, as much as sewing and folding leaves and paper into various shapes. And painting? I could be at it for hours, if I wasn’t engrossed in reading. A slow drive around town or a walk on the beach or watching the sunset from the Monte, with my Dad, provided a perfect end to the day. Delightful indeed!

Somewhere along the way we lose this ability to experience joy in the small things in life. As we grow up we need more and more for the smallest amount of joy. The ‘latest’ mobile loses its charm within a few days of its purchase as our eyes are already on a newer model. Cars are changed as often as innerwear and clothes…oh…difficult to wear them more than twice. Neither birds nor butterflies can stand up to the competition of movies and TV serials. And who has the time to sit and paint when FB, Twitter and email keep us at their beck and call.

Walking with a skip and a jump, jumping to touch the door top, swinging high in the air, stopping to smell the flowers and watch the sunset…these are but small things that add a little sparkle to our life, keeping alive that child in us. It is only in being childlike that we can experience the joy of small things. The good news is, it’s never too late to stop and feel the breeze, observe the fish in the stream or the turtle in the well. Go ahead - rekindle the joy of small things. After all, it’s matchless.

Everyone Needs a Friend

2010-09-14T23:13:00.000+05:30

Everyone needs a friend
When they are down and out.
But what do you do
When the very one you’re calling
Is too far to reach out?
Distances aren’t measured
In miles and kilometres
The distance between the hearts
Is all that really matters.
So near yet so far
Fingers touching
With the hearts miles apart.
What do you do
To fill the yawning gap?
Will an apology work
To create a miracle in a snap?
Wounds do heal with time
Scars remain to remind.
Of years gone by in pain
Of times you bled in vain.

The one who reaches you
The one who bails you out
Is the winner of the trophy
That you never set to give out.
What is friendship then,
A measure of give and take?
Or is it about giving
Putting everything at stake?
There is no turning back
Sometimes you have to move
Keep going and look up,
Dragging yourself if need be
Just not giving up.
The silver lining on the cloud
May be dull and cheerless
The fact that it is there
Provides you hope immense.

- Rukma Naik

The Question

2010-04-23T17:58:00.009+05:30

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
The answer’s hidden out there

Uncover it you’re told.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
The answer’s in reverse
Turn it over to know.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
Creation is thy name
Mull it over.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
Look for it
That’s the goal.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
Buried in a code
Decipher to learn.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
It’s on sale
Cost unaffordable.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
Each day new
Tomorrow unknown.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
It doesn’t fade
Nor grow old.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
Searched all over
A tired soul.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?
Ready to give up
I’m on the shore.

A question,
With no answer;
Or is it so?

- R

The Making of a Winner

2009-12-20T15:55:00.005+05:30

Life tests ruthlessly
The fire engulfs
There’s no way out
But through it.

“Bear it!” He says
The words ring in my ears
How cruel I think
Where’s His love I wonder.

Am I His bonfire?
A joke to laugh at?
A puppet to play with,
A toy thrown asunder? Nay I’m not
It’s the test of fire
The chisel’s at work
Something transpires.

A work of art
With the sheen of gold
Dazzling and wondrous
In time we’ll behold.

It’s not without reason
There is a plan that guides
Each step is vital
Every jolt required.

The making of a winner
Is no mean task
The Maker labours
Painstakingly with love.

Grin and bear it
Smile your way through
Dance in the storm
Await the sun to shine through.

“This too shall pass”
He reminds me again
The rainbow will appear
The skies will glow again.

“Look ahead and up
Keep walking the path
The goal is worth it
Don’t you give up!”

Watch the waves
They never fail to rise
After every fall
Higher they climb.

The fire will subside
And having stood your ground
From the ashes you’ll emerge
As a winner so strong.

- Rukma

Blue

2009-12-17T21:10:00.002+05:30

Blue, blue, blue
Vast, infinite, mesmerising
No beginning, no end
Here, there and everywhere.
All embracing, all encompassing
Ever so inviting, deliciously cool.
Love pours forth in every way
Drenched in his love, I swoon, I sway
The smile on my face, gives me away.
Shades of blue, dark and bright
Lighter, at times almost white
So inviting, I cannot fight.
I soar up high, oh so high
Lighter than cotton, no effort required.
To merge and be one is my heart’s desire.

The twinkling eyes, the dazzling smile
Features so fine, face shining bright
The curls dance framing the face
Long shapely fingers beckon me ahead.
The swish of the silk, the gurgling laugh
Silent footsteps falling so soft.
Lost in the moment, no mind to confuse
One single thought, “It is you.”
A long wait, painful and tough
Shedding tears, yearning for your touch
Worth it after all, for you have come
To take me along...
Where no more will there be a you and I.
Just blue, blue, blue… vast, infinite.

- Rukma

Reality Strikes

2009-12-08T08:47:00.002+05:30

Golden skin, deep dark eyes like limpid pools
Ebony strands bouncing with grace
The features symmetrical and shapely too.

Sweet music emanates, she twirls to the tunes
Laughter gurgles like a brook over stones
The elegance and charm makes many a swoon.

Where from art thou, what bringest you here
Thy shadow is poise entwined with grace.
Many were keen to know her sweet name.

The days went past and nights flew by
The smiles got brighter and laughter more loud
The more they learned the more inquisitive they grew.

The damsel had a lot to say, they remained immersed in her tête-à-tête
Her talks began with her eyes as they sparkled and glowed
Time flew by and not one noticed, not at all.

All was fine, life a reverie
The damsels company everyone wanted to keep
Nothing else mattered, she was such a treat.

This too shall pass the wise believed
The hold wouldn’t last, the façade she couldn’t keep
And true to their words, the storm strung a beat.

The rains came lashing, lightning crashed in the seas
Thunder shattered the trance they were in.
The reality would soon be revealed.

She ran for cover, hands covering her face
One hand over her head, seeking shelter from the rain
The thunder and lighting had her covering in dread.

This too shall pass she thought to herself
The squall may cease in time she prayed
But the Gods didn’t seem to heed her feeble requests.

Window panes crashed, trees swooned and swayed
People ran amuck anxious and scared
The end is near she heard them say.

The wise were right, the storm did pass
The sun peeped over the horizon shedding golden light
Calm began to return to the noisy countryside.

She gathered her guts to stand up tall
The music was playing ere very soft
The admirers again began to surround her.

Horror was writ large on their faces
She realised as she looked each way
Mouth agape they stared in dismay.

Haltingly she moved her fingers over her face
Alas! The storm had destroyed more than nature’s terrain.
The mask she wore had given way.

Gone was the smile, the sparkle in the eyes
The laughter was lost and ebony had turned white.
The dress was tattered and she looked a sight!

The crowd dwindled from many to none
Not a soul was willing to see the real one
The façade had fallen, gone was the fun.

- Rukma

Why

2009-11-20T23:37:00.002+05:30

Why do we weep when there’s so much to smile about?
Why do we hurt when it’s really not worth a cry?
Why are we forlorn, inspite of all the beauty around?
Why allow melancholy when there’s music playing in the background?

The key to our happiness we place in someone else’s hand.
Like a puppet we move around lacklustre and staid;
So much to lament about, no time to see the grace;
Who is to be blamed but I, me and myself.

Why do we stand in the way of the shadows?
Why doesn’t dawn herald a new start?
Why do the flowers fail to make me smile?
Why does the bird’s flying make me cry?

A dusty vision, a sight gone bad;
Nothing seems to go the way I planned.
The routes gone askew, new roads I dread;
Walking the trodden path I don’t find savoir faire.

Why do we worry, get stressed and strained?
Why do we live like we’re here forever to stay?
Why do we hate, despise and scorn?
Why do we not be nice to all?

Nobody said there’d be shine and no rain.
No promise was made of life being roses all the way.
Salt and sugar, spice and sweet, sour and bitter
Melt together to make life a big tease.

Why do we not look beyond the faults?
Why do we look for perfection in all?
Why do we shout, scold and deride?
Why do we not live at peace with ourself?

Life is to be lived, like actors on stage;
Play each role to the hilt and leave with grace.
You’re not the acted, mere acting you do
Discover what you are behind the mask and costume.

- Rukma

The Journey of Life

2009-11-16T11:24:00.001+05:30

The journey of life is a mysterious one
Turns and crossroads we come across
Some easier to fathom than others
And at some we just have to turn around
Jump over the boulders or get stuck.

With the eyes on your goal the obstacles seem small
But the obstacles loom large when the vision is switched off
Often tired, sometimes forlorn, I keep going inspite the odds.
Giving up is easy, it’s beckoning so enticing
How easy it would be to just relax and do nothing.

But that’s not what I’m here for, to make a difference I stand
My birth would be worthwhile only then, I have to oft remind myself.
Breathing, eating, procreating and dying…even worms do that.
With a human life comes a great responsibility
How far I fulfil it remains to see.

- Rukma

A Long Life: To Live or Not to Live

2009-11-01T12:32:00.002+05:30

Come birthdays and wishes for a long life are showered upon you. And if that’s not enough, the ‘you’ll live a hundred years’ when you appear just when people are thinking or talking about you go on throughout the year. Come to think of it, is a long life really a blessing? There are two points which come to my mind.

To begin with, I would any day choose a good life over a long life. Whatever number of years I live, may those be happy and industrious. I’d choose a short but good life, over a long mediocre one. My spiritual teacher M once said, ‘If at the end of your life you have just four people vouching that their life has been better because of you, then your life is fulfilled.’ I don’t know if I have four people who would vouch for me at this moment, but I sure do make a conscious attempt at it in my everyday living. When the moment of departure does arrive, I hope I can say that life has been worth it.

Secondly, at the alarming rate that environmental destruction and climatic changes are occurring I dread to think of a long, long life. This year I experienced the most unbearable of all summers! My body just couldn’t handle it. I’m sure many would agree with me. During my recent trip to Uttarkashi I didn’t get a chance to even take the light sweater out of my suitcase. It was alarming! Just five years back when I visited Uttarkashi in the month of May the weather was such that we were all wearing light woollens. And now, just five years down the line, it was late September and blazing hot! If this is how it is now, what do we have in store for us? The environmentalists are prophesying lack of water, unbearably high temperatures with their resulting illnesses, unhealthy changes in the weather and what not…a deadly future indeed! And you want me to live long? No way!

Bless me do, but for a healthy, happy and fruitful life. The longevity I can surely do without.

Happy to be Happy

2009-10-14T15:05:00.002+05:30

Within minutes of putting my status as ‘Happy’ on FB, I was flooded with a volley of questions asking why or what it is that was making me happy. Frankly, I was happy…for no specific reason. I was at peace and that translated into happiness. I was doing nothing, there was nothing that I had achieved; I hadn’t reached some place nor was I headed anywhere.; There wasn’t anyone special I’d met nor had any disturbing person left. I was simply happy.

The volley of questions got me wondering…is it necessary to have a reason to be happy? Can’t we be happy for no reason at all? The Upanishads shout out loud that happiness is our true nature. Of course, that’s literally a far cry from our daily experience. But there are times when we experience that inner happiness, for no rhyme or reason, it is when we reach somewhere deep within and are totally centred in the moment.

If at all we need reasons to be happy, one look around and we’ll find a million reasons to be happy. The very fact that we can breathe effortlessly, we can walk with ease, view the colours around and hear the sounds in the air…aren’t these reason enough to be happy? Focussing on what we have and being grateful for it, we cannot but be happy.

And then there is happiness in nature…the glint of the rising sun as it peeps from behind the hills, the sight of the eagle gliding in the sky its wings spread out wide, the shiny green foliage in a variety of shades, the twittering of the birds heralding a new day, the golden sky made bright by the bright orange setting sun, the fragrant flowers dancing in the caressing breeze, the silvery moon glimmering against the dark sky, the foaming white waves crashing with a thundering melody…ah! What beautiful sights! They silence the mind. The chattering stops and you’re left without a thought, lost in the beauty of nature, unparalleled, inexplicable, inexpressible. The joy of those moments can only be experienced not described.

It is in those silent moments that we experience true happiness. Let us look around and become aware of those million reasons to be happy. Many such moments will make for a happier day. And many such days will make for a happier life. And therein will end our mindless, frantic search for happiness, for we would have found happiness wherever and however we are.

Touching, not Teaching

2009-09-07T10:42:00.000+05:30

“You’re not going there to teach, you’re going there to touch; touch lives” was the clincher. He couldn’t have surmised it in a better way. The situation was that as part of the Youth Empowerment Program I was posted at a school, while being a teacher was the last thing on my mind. He tried to convince me in every way that I was apt for this assignment but I couldn’t get myself to agree to it. I was already teaching since a few years and was looking forward to doing something ‘different’. And here I was, being offered a teaching assignment. But that last line said it all. It hit me like a bolt out of the blue. I sat up straight and agreed to it in that instant.

Looking back, who are the teachers that I remember and cherish the most? Not the ones who waxed eloquent on various topics and regaled us with stories and taught us an assortment of subjects, but inadvertently they are the ones who touched my life, in and outside the classroom, in and through their teaching. They may or may not have taught well, I don’t recollect that much, but for sure they touched me deep within and made a difference; such that I remember them even today and am ever grateful for taking the time and effort for that ‘extra bit’ as one of my favourite teachers called it. They are the ones who cared about me, who gently nudged me to do better, who encouraged me when I lagged behind, who cheered my smallest achievements, who gave me hope when there was none, who looked beyond my follies to highlight my talents, the ones who believed in me and stood by me when I was nowhere in the frontline. They didn’t just correct me; they helped me overcome my flaws. They didn’t just show me the right path; they guided me to choose my own path. They didn’t mould me into a person they thought right, they let me bloom to be what I was born to be. They didn’t ignore my faults; they helped me fortify my strengths. Indeed, they didn’t just teach me, they touched my life and changed me forever.

Unto all those teachers, my million prostrations. I bow to thee in complete reverence. May there be many more like you, who touch lives and make a difference.

The Ideal in the Idol

2009-08-23T11:58:00.000+05:30

Come August/September (depending on the cycle of the moon) and the states of Goa, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka and Tamil Nadu gear up for the arrival of the elephant-headed God. The festival popularly known as Ganesh Chaturthi or Vinayak Chaturthi. It is celebrated in every home, big and small besides the public celebrations.

Lord Ganesha has different names pertaining to his different characteristics. He is the Vignahartha: the remover of obstacles. The Ganesha: leader of the Ganas. Lord Ganesha signifies the formless divinity. He is the Unborn, Formless, Limitless, Attributeless encapsulated in a form. He is the one from whence the Universe has come.

The very form of Ganesha might seem mind boggling or even weird to some, but as I mentioned earlier, every part of him is symbolic of a deeper meaning.

Big head: Think big. Signifies wisdom & knowledge.
Big ears: Listen more
Small mouth: Talk less
Trunk: Explore, discover & learn. Be adaptable and flexible in all circumstances.
Sharp eyes: Observe carefully, concentrate.
Smiling face: Smile through obstacles
Snake round his belly: What goes round, comes round: The Cosmic law. It is the Lord who gives order and holds the Universe together, else it would be chaos. The atoms that make up the universe follow an order, the Supreme Cosmic Law.
Axe: Cut away bondages ruthlessly. Be free.
Rope: Pull yourself towards the Goal.
Lotus: Be in the world but not of the world. Like the lotus that retains its purity while taking its nutrition from the murky pond, so should we live in this world, fresh and pure, untouched by its impurities.
Large belly: Generosity and total acceptance of all that life has to offer, whether good or bad.
Single tusk: Discrimination. Retain what is good, discard the bad.
Mouse: Symbolises our desires. Keep them small and under control, otherwise it will take you for a ride and create havoc in your life.
Modak: The fruit of your good actions
Prasad (ladoo): You live life as signified above and the result will be that the world will be at your feet, you will rule.

What touches me most though, is the very significance of the festival. Like all Hindu festivals the festival of Ganesh Chaturthi too is symbolic in nature and has layers of meaning, ranging from the superficial to the deepest. It is not just the rejoicing of the coming of Lord Ganesha, son of Shiva and Parvati. Its goes much deeper. The idol of Ganesha is made of clay and to clay it goes back after two days of celebrations. Indeed a strong reminder that we have come from the soil and to the soil we shall return. While we are here, live life to the fullest, let every day be a celebration of life. It is not a negative reminder for creating fear of our mortality nay it is a reminder to not waste life in pettiness bearing in mind that our time here is limited.

As we celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi this year let us strive to remember, that what we are to worship is not the idol but the ideal in the idol. Happy Ganesh Chaturthi!

The Tyranny of the Shoulds

2009-08-21T16:56:00.003+05:30

It’s not so much people or situations that make us happy, angry or sad but our thoughts about them. Whatever is causing pain/sadness are only thoughts. We can change our thoughts. And in turn change how we feel.

The problem we all face is not about feeling happy but about feeling everything but happiness. That is, our problem revolves around negative feelings like sad, unhappy, angry, upset, let down, etc. As our thought, so our feeling; as our feeling, so our action/response. So, all we need to do is trace it backwards. If we want to change our behaviour, we have to change how we feel and for that we need to change how we think.

I find that one of our greatest enemies is any thought that contains the word ‘should’ or ‘must’ or an equivalent of either. The moment we say ‘should’ or ‘must’ we are stating an expectation. Given the fact that we as human beings have a free will and the right to act as we deem fit and so also the fact that we have no control over external circumstances and other people, the use of should and must is bound to land us in ‘Upset-ville’. A ‘should’ is an expectation, a compulsion. What guarantee do we have that it will be fulfilled? And when it doesn’t get fulfilled what happens? We get upset. This is called ‘The Tyranny of the Shoulds’ or as Albert Ellis says ‘MUSTerbation’. I must, he must, she must… so many expectations for us and others to live up to, leaving no scope for free will. These shoulds and musts are nothing but irrational beliefs and perceptions. What actually affects us is not our behaviour or that of others, or the way the world treats us, but what actually affects us our false beliefs.

When these ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ are directed towards another, it usually results in anger and when directed towards ourself it usually ends up in guilt. ‘You should have asked me before deciding the picnic spot.’ And there! You are fuming. Or, ‘I should never have listened to her’ or ‘I must complete my project on time’. And there…you are upset again! Considering everyone has a free will, nobody is going to behave the way we want/expect them to, all the time. Well, we don’t always behave the way the world expects us to either. So if I have free will, so do others. Their actions may not be what we like or want or need, their actions may not even be right, nevertheless, they have every right to behave the way they do. They were not born to live according to our expectations. Just the way you and I aren’t born to fulfil everyone’s expectations.

People let us down very often. And it is but natural to feel annoyed or disappointed. But, if we have placed very strong shoulds/musts on them then we start blaming them and feel angry, frustrated and let down when things are not in line with our ‘should’. The problem with this is that it leaves us feeling negative and does nothing to make things better; on the contrary it only affects the relationships adversely.

So does that mean we should take everything that comes along without batting an eye lid? No, certainly not. But, instead of stating shoulds/musts we can convert them into preferences. And what does that mean? It means learning to be flexible in our thinking. It means learning to ‘prefer things to be a certain way’ but accepting the fact that things will not always be the way we would prefer. Try it and you will see that the emotion you feel is not as strong as earlier. The earlier statements could be converted into preferences thus, ‘I would have appreciated it if you checked with me before deciding the picnic spot’, ‘It would have been better if I had thought it over before listening to her’ or ‘I prefer finishing my project in time, but it’s not possible always’ and so on. For sure the ensuing emotion is not as strong as the one following the should/must statements.

What is the advantage of converting our shoulds/musts into preferences? First and foremost it spares us the onslaught of negative emotions like hurt, resentment, anger, depression, hatred, anxiety etc. It saves us from feeling upset. Secondly… do we really need a second reason? Isn’t that one reason good enough to attempt overthrowing the Tyranny of the shoulds and stop MUSTerbating all the time?

Go ahead. Try it. Identify your ‘shoulds’ and convert them into preferences. Well, I’m not saying that ‘you ‘should’ try it, all that I’m saying is it would be nice if you gave it a try! Trust me, it’ll be worth the try.

{PS – The concept of ‘The Tyranny of the Shoulds’ was first stated by Karen Horney (pronounced HORN-eye), a psychoanalyst.}

Prisoner of your own mind

2009-07-18T20:57:00.001+05:30

The wicked mind, how it works,
Weaving webs of thoughts, sown with wild pictures.
The net it casts catches you right,
With every movement you make it gets more tight.
Squirming and turning you try to break free
But the harder you try the more impossible it seems.
Beyond the web of thoughts and words,
Lies serene, a beautiful world.
But caught by the mind, your vision is coloured,
Everything looks misty, crooked and disastrous.
A cloud of fear engulfs your soul,
Your heart wrenching cries muffled to a moan.
You know the way out, drop the thoughts that’s all,
But alas you’re caught within your illusory prison walls.

The Terrifying Guest

2009-07-11T11:42:00.003+05:30

Life is unpredictable. You never know what will happen next. In our foolish ignorance we plan far ahead and leave umpteen things for ‘one day’, little realising that ‘one day’ might never happen.

In the span of a few weeks I have directly or indirectly faced the loss of near and dear ones. Shock and disbelief are felt first, only to be replaced by pity, despair and intense sorrow. If we are able to remain firmly rooted in Vedanta then death does not cause unending sorrow. We face life and death far better.

After all what is death? The Bhagwad Gita puts it very simply as ‘casting off of worn out garments by the Self’ (II:22), that is, the Jeeva (akin to soul) or the Self drops the body which has lost its significance and accepts a new one.

Lord Krishna mentions some important points in the same chapter, which if understood and internalised would forever destroy the fear of death. The Lord extols us to understand:

- That which is born must die. What has had a beginning has to have an end. It's simple logic.

- The Self is unborn hence it does not die. The person does not cease to be when the body is destroyed. It only moves on to a different plane. Only the body is destroyed.

- The body for the Jeeva is just like clothes are for us. As we discard worn out clothes, so does the jeeva discard the used body.

- The Jeeva is eternal, it was, it is and it will always be. There is no beginning and no end.
All beings are unmanifest in the beginning, then they manifest and once again go back to unmanifest. Thus, there is no cause for lamentation. It is a continuous cycle of change.

- It is incorrect to think that the Self dies - only Matter perishes. For the body - birth and death are inevitable; it is born to die again. The cycle of life and death continues.

- The wise do not grieve for they understand the nature of the Self.

No doubt it is easier said than done. For, as humans we are governed by our emotions. It is only when the clouds of emotion break up and the intellect shines through that we are able to think and apply the knowledge that we have. With our intellect clouded by emotions all that we are assured of is acute sorrow and despair. But the wise one, keeping his emotions in check, is able to see in the light of his intellect and act wisely. No, this does not mean one becomes emotionless, nor does it mean suppression of emotions, but only that one can channelise the emotions and not let the emotions overwhelm us. It means the ability to bounce back sooner. You feel, but you don’t get drowned in your feelings.

Is it practically possible one would wonder. Yes it is. I have seen people rooted in Vedanta bouncing back with amazing alacrity after having faced a crushing tragedy. I repeat, they were not sans emotions, but their emotions did not overcome them; something like a lotus that is born out of the water yet remains untouched by it. Understanding death would lead us to the state of the great Sant Tukaram who proclaimed, ‘My death is dead’.

Use Apostrophes - wikiHow

2009-06-29T12:09:00.000+05:30

Use Apostrophes - wikiHow

Being Childlike

2009-06-28T22:16:00.000+05:30

There is a vast difference between being ‘childish’ and ‘childlike’. Childish refers to behaviour that is immature, maybe even irresponsible. Childlike refers to behaviour that is positive. There are many qualities in a child that are worth emulating. Well, that’s the irony of it. we were once children and had these very qualities in abundance, but as we grew up and ‘matured’, our innocence and child like characteristics ebbed away. Alas! It is the loss of childlike-behaviour that is to be lamented, not the loss of childhood, for is those characteristics were retained we would have nothing to complain about. So, what are these qualities that I am referring to? Think. Think back to when you were a 5 year old… how did you act, react, think, respond, behave…

How long did your anger last? How long did you stay away from the one you were angry with? How long did it take before you forgave and forgot? How long did it take you to go back to your parent after he/she had yelled or even raised their hand at you? Did you ever worry about the future? Did you ever regret, more than momentarily, if at all? How long did you hold grudges? And how long did you stay a grouch?

Observe a child. Any child. One minute they are receiving a scolding from their parent/teacher/any adult. The very next minute, if they approach the child, the child will respond on a clean slate. Everything is forgotten and forgiven. No holding grudges.

Children live entirely in the moment. The child is not worried about what he’ll do when he grows up, the parents are. He lives in the present. That’s another reason why grudges are not held. They drop the issue and move on.

For a child each day is a new day. They wake up fresh, with a clean slate. No bitter remnants of yesterday.

They laugh a lot, they play a lot, they smile a lot, basically they don’t take life seriously and enjoy being alive, every minute of it. It doesn’t take a child much to laugh. What we adults find silly, makes them burst into laughter.

They love unconditionally, no strings attached, no expectations.

Can we go back to being childlike? We sure can…if only we try.

Go ahead…try.

Bored to Death

2009-06-02T12:47:00.000+05:30

Bored to death, but death evades me.
Wonder what lies behind life’s screen.
A reflection of life or something serene,
Beauty and pace replete with harmony,
Or a painful reminder of a life that has been?
Hide and seek it plays with me,
Never allowing me within its reach,
The time isn’t right, there’s more to see,
A life of happiness sprinkled with misery, generously.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice,
Whatever you choose, it’s in your hands my boy.
Smile through the thorns or cry through the blooms,
The feeling in your heart is for you to choose.
Death your friend will wait patiently by,
Reaching out to you when the time has arrived.

- Rukma

Drops of Gold

2009-05-31T15:36:00.001+05:30

Drops of gold dripping from the sky
Got caught mid-air, on a tree standing bare
Shining, glistening globs of gold
Flicking the sun’s rays
What a sight to behold!

The mind silent
My eyes open wide
Mouth agape I watched wonderstruck
Could there be anything more beautiful at sight
This tree of gold, stopping in their tracks passers-by?

Of all God’s creations is this the best yet?
So bright, so beautiful, awesome to the core
Gleaming, shimmering, yellowest of yellow
Hanging in bunches, pretty drops of gold.

What Differentiates Dogs from Humans?

2009-05-30T13:26:00.002+05:30

With all due apologies to the humble dog for having brought him down to the same platform as a human…

Well, for one dogs are faithful.
Dogs love in spite of, not because of.
Dogs love you even if you don’t really serve any purpose in their lives.
Dogs are, well, they’re simply dogs. They are not this, that and the other, atleast not in their eyes. (Though we humans tend to classify them as mongrels, pedigree etc.)
Dogs live by their innocent instinct with no devious thinking and scheming of how to and what to and who to and when to.

Ah! Now about the superior human race…well, the less said the better!!

PS - All posts in this blog are a fiction of my wild imagination. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Keep the Faith

2009-05-20T16:19:00.000+05:30

What goes up, must come down, what is down, will go up at some point of time. Nothing remains the same for a very long time.

Happiness is replaced with sorrow, and sorrow is overcome by joy, it’s a continuous cycle that goes on and on.

Life is like a roller coaster ride, sometimes it takes us up, and sometimes it takes us down.

But there is a limit to how low one can go, after touching rock bottom there is no way but up. So also, there is only so high that one can reach, after that it’s a dip, dip dip.

For a person on a high it is a trifle scary that what will follow next are surely some worries.

But for a person who is sunk in misery it is heartening indeed, that his sorrows for sure are short lived and his next move will only be towards peace.

That the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t out of reach, and it won’t be long before he regains his serenity.

Like the bird that sings before the crack of dawn, with full faith that the sun will rise, keep the faith my friend and look up ahead towards the sky.

- Rukma

The Great Fall

2009-05-19T16:09:00.001+05:30

Down down down
Down she tumbled, falling head over heels,
There was nothing to hold nor a foothold to keep.
The sides shone bright, but further she couldn’t see
Behind was darkness and just hollow in between.
The only sound she heard was her breathing
The chatter of her mind and the swish of her feet.

How did she fall, did someone push her in?
What lay beyond, she shuddered to think.
The way was one, with turns and dips,
No right nor left, nor lanes to switch.
The deeper she went, the darker it was
Cold, unfriendly, not an ounce of warmth.

She closed her eyes, picturing her life
The sun shone bright, in a clear blue sky.
Birds chirping in the trees and hedge
The green grass swaying in the balmy air.
Friends and family surrounding her
Lots to laugh about and chatter and cheer.

Then came the clouds, sinister and morose,
Covered the sun and rendered around darkness.
The picture changed to black and grey
No blues or greens or warm yellow shades.
No singing of birds or gushing waterfall,
A gloom descended, covering her world.

It was then that she lost her delicate balance
Before she knew it she was zooming down the channel.
A fear rose and stifled her scream
What she could do, she couldn’t think
Her heart was in her mouth, thumping in her ears
She broke out in cold sweat, she reeked of fear.

Down down down
Down she tumbled to the underground
It could be a rabbit’s burrow she felt
She could be like Alice on her wonder quest
But alas! It wasn’t leading to wonderland
It turned out to be the tunnel to hell.

- Rukma

Specks of White

2009-05-16T15:04:00.003+05:30

It was just another day at work when I looked out above the monitor. What a sight it was! A flight of Egrets had taken off in tandem from their resting place on a tree and were flying in the sky. Their whiteness so pure, was shimmering in the afternoon sun. I was spell bound. It was a while before I could attempt to write.

Specks of white floating in the sky
Gliding, soaring, in step, in time
Glistening in the sun shine
Silvery, grey, white sometimes
Sweeping across the sky
Settling on the green tops
What a sight it is!
Oh! What a delight it is!
My heart soars, skips a beat
Surely a glimpse of heaven this is.

- Rukma

A Listening Ear

2009-05-10T15:47:00.002+05:30

When feeling down and out of sorts
We all go looking for a shoulder to lean on.
No advice is sought, no wisdom aspired
Only an arm around the shoulder and a comforting hug.

Not empathy not sympathy, not even a nod
Just a pat on the hand, a squeeze on the arm
Conveying I’m with you through it dear,
But most of all we sought, a listening ear.

So silly you say, don’t all ears listen,
Unless of course they’re hard of hearing?
No darlin’, they don’t, they’re a tad different,
Listening is an art while hearing is a function.

To listen and not comment, nor judge nor lament
To listen and be there, without trying to be wise
To listen and only listen, though tempted to speak
To take in through the ears and in the heart keep.
This art ain’t easy, it just ain’t easy.

- Rukma

On Labels & Tags

2009-05-08T08:38:00.001+05:30

It amazes me how labels and tags are so important to us. So much so that we forget the basic oneness… that of us being humans. Castes, communities, regions, countries, areas, gender, family, school/college community, religion…the list is endless. These tags and many more bind us, they bring us together, and they also tear us apart.

Over time these labels become bigger than the person and we judge, accept, reject based on them. But what about that basic similarity - that we are all human beings?

I’m yet to come across a single religion that does not talk about humanity. Yet, the preachers of these very religions divide us into them and us, believers and non-believers, we and them. But peel away the mask, and there stands in all its glory, our common entity: humanity. Underneath it all we’re nothing but humans and that is the core. With a heart and a mind, a brain and an intellect, hands and legs, eyes and ears, mouth and tongue, nose and teeth; with fears and joys, pleasures and pain, feelings of elation and dejection, losses and gains.

Alas! This visible truth has over time come to be hidden under a pile of labels, tags and names, reeking of division, stinking of differences, marauded by our own creations. Where did we go wrong?

Why do we reject, offend, repel, kill, repulse and not accept another one of our own, based on nothing but man-made tags? Forgetting the truth that GOD himself has made us in the same cast. Why do we forget that we are equal in all ways, born alike, live life alike, grow up alike and die the same way too; the same cells, the same atoms, the same bone constitution and body organs. Yet, we point fingers, give names and tags, divide ourselves into groups, live life in strife and despair.

I know I will be called a fool to dream of a world by the one single reality of Oneness in all, the one single reality of the highest Dharma of humanity. What does it matter what name you give God, whether you believe or shun him for that matter? ‘Vasudaiva kutumbakam; the universal family screams the holy scriptures, but who’s got time to look into that, we’re busy practicing religion!!

Anything and everything goes, in the name of God. It just doesn’t make sense to me how there can be two manufacturers for the very same entity. My God, your God, his God and her’s, why can’t we instead just let God be God?! And live and let live in love and peace and above all acceptance? Total acceptance of each other without rejecting on the basis of man made labels.

Call me a fool if you like, but I look forward to that day…the day of oneness.
(Well, I'm doing my bit and it certainly doesn't hurt to try. Hope you'll join me too!)

Overcast Skies

2009-05-07T23:23:00.000+05:30

Cloudy, grey all over,
Spots of black, drops of saline water
Thick fog, overflowing thoughts
No trace of sunshine, no moonlight either.

Impenetrable wall, mighty strong
Morose bricks, cement of chaos.
Winds of melancholy, blowing strong
Throwing asunder all signs of norm.

Alone, forlorn, nowhere to turn
Darkness engulfing, suffocation throughout.
A wreck, a mess, a bundle of frayed nerves
No rhyme nor reason to argue and fathom.

The hormones fought to reign supreme
A bundle of raw nerves was proof to see.
Taking a step back, detached from the mind
At last! A ray of hope, a way out of the mess.

She Walked the Lonely Road

2009-04-19T12:34:00.000+05:30

She walked the lonely road
Brave, head held high.
The wind caressing her hair,
The sunlight twinkling in her eyes.

One foot forward
Followed by the next
In tandem they moved
Her sight fixed far ahead.

The birds circled high above
The clouds a dreamy blur
The wind whispering in her ears
Secrets she hadn’t heard before.

Her dream was lofty
Her vision very high
The horizon beckoned her forward
The past she left far behind.

The road she walked on she created
With every step she took.
None had tread this way before,
No doubt everyone gave her the look.

But nothing mattered no more
She was up and on her way
Her dream was all that mattered
Her life she’d begun to live.

Out on a discovery
On an expedition to find
All that she had heard about
All that her teacher had defined.

The treasure was hers if found
No one else could claim
It was rightfully hers
Provided she could bear the pain.

The search would take her far
Away from dear ones
Alone, by herself, she’d have to tackle
All the obstacles in her path.

Determination writ large on her face
Courage backing her stride
Her dream drawing her forward
Faith shielding her eyes.

Her gait remained ever steady
She neither faltered nor stalled
She tripped a few times over
But that’s about all.

Fall she did,
But didn’t stay down at all.
Picking herself up with grace
She continued on unflustered.

How many like her
Have only dreamt of journeys such
Of carving out their own niche
And creating unparalleled paths.

A strength for many to come forward
An inspiration for many to try
Proof that everything is possible
If only you dare to strive.

An Ache in the Heart

2009-04-19T11:22:00.000+05:30

An ache in the heart
Tears streaming down the cheeks
Enveloped in loneliness, No one in sight
Do you ever feel what I feel?

No one to turn to
None to share what you feel
So many around
But not one within reach.

Friends & family, names to play with
Lovers & sweethearts sugary sweet
Many to share your joys with
Sorrow you’re left alone to deal with.

Words of solace,
A warm embrace
Can’t change your world
Or fill up empty space.

Harsh but true, these are lessons to learn
But alas! We’re stuck in a vicious circle
You aren’t there for others to turn to,
How do you expect them to be there for you?

Thus your pain is your pain alone
The gift of loneliness forever yours
The ache in the heart is here to stay
The tears will just not go away.

- Rukma

Crutches of Life

2009-04-19T10:59:00.000+05:30

As we journey through life at every step we look for props, for support. Little do we realise that what we think are props are nothing but crutches. Though we are perfectly capable of walking all by ourself, we lean on these props and in time, due to sheer force of habit, the props turn into crutches and we become handicapped as we find ourself unable to even stand, leave alone walk, without support.

No doubt, as a baby we cannot function without external help but as time goes by, we should grow out of it. Unfortunately it isn’t so. as time passes by w not only not lose our old crutches but we add newer ones. From just parental dependency we move to siblings, cousins, friends, lovers, colleagues...the list goes on.

More appalling than the physical crutches are the emotional crutches. They leave us weak, dependent, morose, craving for love and attention like a parched earth begs for water. We end up, not givers of love but beggars of love; at the mercy of others, forever begging for a morsel of affection and attention…

Crying for a friend

2009-03-01T12:01:00.000+05:30

I knocked on his door, calling out to my friend
Come later he said, I’m taking rest.

Hours passed, I knocked again,
Not now he said, I’m with a friend.

I waited an age, tried knocking again,
There was no response; he couldn’t hear me I guess.

I looked around to find another friend,
But in pursuit of one I’d lost all the rest.

- Rukma

Facets of Me

2009-02-16T17:37:00.002+05:30

“The many facets of me surprise me. One shade this moment, a different one the next, a brighter hue in between, just before the darkest stroke.
In this blur of shades, hues and strokes lost somewhere deep within is little me. Scared, in awe, wanting to soar but not taking off, holding on tighter while trying to let go” said a little girl to me, not long ago.

How many of us go through life like that? Dreams, goals, ambitions starry eyed we start, a few wrong moves and then get stuck?

Some dare to pick up the lose ends and attempt getting back on track. Most just linger on the floor, gathering dust, full of remorse.

Do you have what it takes to soar high in the sky, in gay abandon and live a carefree life?

Nothing in life comes without a price. Give up your security, that’s such a heavy price.

The returns may come, or it could be otherwise, it’s a risk you take with your eyes open wide.

The vast open sky lures you on, “come embrace me” she calls out.

The temptation is strong, the attraction from within, to spread your wings and feel in your face the cool wind.

But fear weighs you down, not yet ready to fly, the intricacies of life still anonymous.

Destiny

2009-02-16T12:32:00.000+05:30

In life there are no punishments and rewards – there are only consequences. Our scriptures have always said what Science finally discovered: that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

As you sow, shall you reap. What goes round comes around. Say it any way you like it, the fact is all that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own. And that is what brings us to destiny. Often destiny is misunderstood to be a fatalistic theory where we have no control over what’s happening in our life and have to silently bear what life doles out to us. This is a very limited take on destiny. Destiny is only a part of the Doctrine of Karma.

We write our own destiny. Probably many will not agree with this statement with arguments such as ‘Why would anyone chose poverty/sickness/handicap?’ Many would say it is God who has decided for us. But I cannot accept this. It goes against all reasoning because if God has decided what kind of life I have, then it makes Him a sadistic and partial God who chooses joy for some and pain for others. I deny such a God.

The only thing which has given me acceptable answers is the Doctrine of Karma. And that brings me back to destiny.

Destiny is nothing but the consequences of our actions in the past. What I do today will decide what I face tomorrow, and tomorrow I will call it destiny. So the destiny that I face today is nothing but the consequences of my actions and choices I have made in the past. I cannot change the circumstances that have arisen as a result of my past actions but I can surely alter my tomorrow by making the right choices today. This is called ‘self effort’. Thus, the circumstances that we are in is our destiny (result of our past actions), what we do and how we act, in those circumstances, is entirely in our hands.

We cannot plant cacti and expect roses and mangoes. If it’s roses and mangoes that you want, plant those! The Doctrine of Karma puts the responsibility of our life in our own hands. Thus, our destiny lies not in the lines of our palms but in the grasp of our hands. Let us think and act, for with every choice we make today we are writing our tomorrow.

Avdhut Kaka

2009-02-16T00:55:00.003+05:30

"Avdhut kaka"... It feels extremely odd saying those words in my mind as I type them. It seems like ages since I last used them and it hurts to accept that they will never be of use again except in the recollection of memories.

I never realised how much he meant to me till he was no more. Even as I write this, there is an ache in my heart, a catch in my throat and tears are welling up in my eyes threatening to pour out. I wonder when he began to mean so much.

I guess some people are special. They make a place in your heart. They touch you somewhere deep. Such was this man, my Dad’s friend who we called Avdhoot kaka (Is it mandatory to use the past tense?? Every time I do it hurts. Now on, now that you’ve got the point, I’ll stick to the present tense; because a person of that kind lives forever, in the hearts and minds of people.)

He is gaiety personified. In all my 30+ years I don’t remember ever seeing him thoughtful, even for a fraction of a second, leave alone grumpy, sad, morose, worried or scared. The big smile, the throaty laughter, the repartee is constant.

To him life is one big party, to be enjoyed and lived to the full, come hail or snow, or rather by Goan conditions, come rain or shine. He lives life King size! And how!!

Quite a few birthdays were made extra special by him: a treat by the poolside for all my friends and family. Dining with him is never ordinary. The Chef is summoned with his magic wand. We always have what we want much to the embarrassment of and reprimanding by Daddy. He is the only one who can brush off my Dad’s stern objections. It is always, ‘Leave it, they’re kids’. (Even after I crossed 20 and 30!!)

I have only one complaint against him: he didn’t say bye before going. And that is the only thing that’s still hurting. More than a complaint against him, I guess it’s a complaint against myself… for never taking that little effort to go and see him. It’s only when he was gone that I realised I’d last met him six whole months earlier.

An important but painful lesson to learn…make time for people, for all your near and dear ones. Work goes on, if not through you some other. Tomorrow never comes, meet them now. The frustration one feels at the inability to turn the clock back and snatch just a few moments with the person gone is excruciatingly painful.

I remember that last evening vividly. He joined us for dinner after we had all eaten! (Sigh... what do we do with this man, late as usual.) As always, he came in like a breath of fresh air. His freshness and spirit was always contagious. Ever cheerful, he spread cheer around him like butter on a hot toast. And that’s how I think I should be in remembering him, if I truly love him...

(He’d be mighty amused reading this blog! Well, I simply chose to assume he is reading it!)

Two Roads Diverged in a Wood

2009-02-16T00:07:00.000+05:30

Two roads diverged in a wood
And I, I took the one less travelled by
And that had made all the difference.

But when, oh when did I get back
On the road much travelled by
Sad, morose, lost, a total wreck.

Is there no turning back?
No fork in the road to choose afresh?
Or maybe just a helping hand?

I look around, friends I see
My family, my colleagues
But the one my eyes scout for…

None will help, no one to lean on
Look within, find the strength
And move on.

Walk alone amidst the crowd
They’re all an apparition
The only real friend is Him alone.

With faith in Him, eyes on the goal
Keep walking alone, all alone
This journey you’ve started is worth it all.

On this path there is no fall
“Bounce back!” He screams,
But there’s no air in the ball…

Mind in pieces or at peace

2009-02-15T21:26:00.000+05:30

It is only when our actions are aligned with our values, beliefs and philosophy of life that our mind is at rest. When our actions are not aligned with our values and beliefs the result is an agitated mind. An agitated mind can neither think straight nor take correct decisions. An agitated mind also results in us being emotionally high strung, such that the slightest change or obstacle or failure takes us right to the bottom of the pit.

When emotionally high strung we tend to swing from high to low at the drop of a hat. Does that mean emotions are bad? Not at all. Emotions are fine, emotionalism is not. Learn to handle your emotions and not let emotions handle you is what the Wise one says. Stand back, observe the storm of emotions as it rises and settles, periodically.
Be a ‘sakshi’, a silent observer. Watch as the emotions rise in your bosom, reach a pinnacle and then settle down. Don’t identify with the emotions. You are apart from them. You are not them.

If we don’t stand back as an observer the storm of emotions will rage havoc, leaving us behind as a heap of nerves, shattered, lonely, broken. And who wants to be with a nervous wreck? Nobody.

Life is Life

2008-12-14T13:05:00.000+05:30

As Shakespeare rightly said...

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…

We come, we play our role and we go. The world goes on. What we do and how we do what we do while we are here is all that matters. We’re here one minute, gone the next. No one knows how long they’re here…but so long as we’re here, we can and must make a difference.

Adi Shankaracharya puts it poetically when he says “Life is like a dew drop on a lotus leaf, one never knows when a gust of wind will end its existence”.

All of us all well aware of this truth of life, yet we continue living, day after day, as though there is no end. There are enough things we put off for ‘tomorrow’, there are enough grudges we hold and hatred we nurture, all in the belief that there’s tomorrow. On the other extreme we have those who waste away their life on frivolous pleasures doing nothing substantial with their life.

The wise alone live in the present, making the most of each day. They neither spend their time regretting the past nor worrying about the future, but in the moment, making the best of it.

Generally, it is only in the time of tragedy that we give a thought to the frivolity of life, its unpredictable nature. We resolve to live life to the fullest and not waste a moment. We resolve to spend more time with our loved ones and make up with all those we’ve hurt or been hurt by. We resolve not to leave anything for tomorrow and make the most of the present. But day turns into night and night into another day…and there we are back to our busy lives. Till one gory day once again we face a tragedy and the cycle begins again…

Let’s not wait for a calamity, let’s start today, let’s start right now. Live life to the fullest, make the best of the present, for who knows, tomorrow might never happen, because life is…life.

I'm Sorry

2008-12-10T23:23:00.000+05:30

There are people and there are special people. And some are so special, that you don’t see beyond them. It’s these people, the one’s closest to you, that you end up hurting, intentionally or unintentionally, you’re so close to them that you take this liberty (unfortunately). Words flow, bitterness grows, hearts get broken and friendships go sore.
All said and done you realise you were wrong. What do you do? Say sorry of course. And then, just hope against hope that it works.

Hey buddy, this one’s for you…

I’m sorry

For all the times I hurt you
For all the things I said to you
For all the days I shunned you
I’m sorry.

For all the times I didn’t care
For all things I didn’t do
For all the days you cried through
I’m sorry.

For all the times you explained
For all the things I didn’t believe
For all the days I stayed away
I’m sorry.

For all the times I doubted you
For all the times I questioned you
For all the days I troubled you
I’m sorry.

If only sorry was a magic word
But sadly it isn’t so
It doesn’t fix broken hearts
Or bruises or sores.
If only sorry could heal and mend
If only sorry could erase pain
If only sorry could turn the clock around
I’d use it in plenty right now.

Hey buddy...I'm sorry.

Blown by the Wind

2008-12-08T17:48:00.001+05:30

Do you ever feel you’ve had enough of life? Do you ever wish time would stand still and for a moment, just for a moment the mind would go quiet? That the flow of thoughts would cease and that ache in your heart would disappear? That the emotions surging in your bosom would lay at rest? That the sun would keep shining in the sky and the birds stop in their tracks?

Well, I don’t know about you, but I sure do feel these things at times. And today is one of those days. Life feels too burdensome and the heart too heavy to continue carrying around. I wish the day would just end and tomorrow would be a new start. But alas! It isn’t so. Today simply continues into tomorrow. Like yesterday continued into today and the day before continued into yesterday. Tomorrow will be just another day.

Where and how and why do things go wrong? Do we mess things up or is it someone else’s fault? I tracked the route and it all boiled down to my fault. Why am I the way I am? Why am I so fragile? Why am I so emotional? Why do I break down at the slightest fall? Why do I lean on others and expect them to be there for me? Why do I give anyone so much importance? When will I ever learn to walk on my own?

A leaf in the wind
Blown around
No destination
No path
Just drifting along.

Doing nothing
Is the basic aim
But I’m unable to live it
Where all do I go wrong
I can’t handle it.

From nature we learn
To just Be
To rejoice in Being
At ease
At peace.

Well, talking is easy
Doing is not,
Moving, forward or backward
Or stagnating
I know not.

Why oh why
Why me?! I cry
There is no answer
There might never be
I hope I last to see the finality.

Walking the razor’s edge
Whoever said it’d be easy!
Knowingly I tread it
I chose it
Do I now regret it?

The mind plays tricks
That is its passion
It runs amok
Out of control
Dragging me along, with its ruthless hold.

No victory
No failure
No loss or gain
Keep walking, He says
I’m right behind ye.

My Lord, my Love
I’m so helpless
So weak
No strength to fight the matrix
Or live by it.

You are my saviour,
My anchor,
My buoy,
My boat to carry me
Across this ocean of turmoil.

I know you’re here
Watching my every move,
Laughing at my follies
Grinning at my goofs;
Don’t just look…help me through!

It ain’t funny anymore
I’m hurting so bad;
Every minute every second
Is so difficult to tread
Can’t you see I need your helping hand?!

Help me my Lord
Hold me close
Embrace me tight
Never let go
I need you so, I do need you so.

- Rukma

The Puppet

2008-12-07T15:56:00.000+05:30

The Puppet

Tears of blood flowed down her cheek
Her heart was broken into tiny bits
Though feebly, it continued to beat.
Everything had changed at once
What was a lovely evening
Was reduced to a morose one.
The stars twinkling in the sky
Seemed to mock at her plight
At the mercy of her beloved
His actions had tremendous power
At once elating, at once painful
Being a puppet is definitely not gleeful.

Colours of the World

2008-12-06T16:59:00.000+05:30

See green
Feel green
Eat green
Drink green
Think green
It’s green, green, green all over the world

See red
Eat red
Drink red
Flow red
Think red
It’s red, red, red all over the world.

See black
Think black
Feel black
Eat black
Drink black
It’s black, black, black all over the world.

The end.
No more rainbows or flowers...

Life Lost

2008-12-04T20:42:00.000+05:30

Grains of sand slipped from her hands
Her life had gone by as easily
Nothing gained, much lost
Not really anything worth remembering.

One more soul had passed through life
Eat, drink, sleep, cry, rarely a smile
No path to follow, no goal to achieve
Wandering along, lost totally.

Why she was born, she wondered at times
Finding no answer, she’d brush it aside
The right to query, ponder and discover
Is not the right of many she’d learnt.

The soft breeze caressed her face
Her tangled hair covering her eyes
Through the gaps she gazed at the sea
One vast, silvery, glimmering stretch.

The sun slipped below the horizon
Her life had ebbed away as silently
She would leave behind not a mark
That she’d ever lived wouldn’t make history.

What romance the poets found in nature
It made little sense to her
Everywhere she looked all she found was sorrow
Even nature was in pain, not just she alone.

The water disappeared into the sand
Her life had gone by as easily
Nothing gained, much lost
Not really anything worth remembering.

- Rukma

White Canvas

2008-12-03T13:05:00.000+05:30

White canvas
A splatter of yellow and pink
Shades of green all over
Ugly blotches of black
Oozing through the cracks streams of crimson red.

Wails in the background
Screams in the foreground
Pain shooting through the chest
As metal finds its mark.
Their good deed done for the day
But they continue on their way
The vision is high
The good Lord will applaud
They will win accolades…or so they say.

- Rukma

The Death

2008-11-25T08:41:00.000+05:30

Broken promises, shattered dreams
A heart crushed into a zillion pieces
No sound was heard, not even a clink,
All that was seen was a red stream.
Deep, dark, drops of red trickling down the chin
In the silence of the night, a heart wrenching scream.
The wounds were deep, the knife had come out clean
Made of sugar, it was sickening sweet.
No sutures worked, bandages in vain
The pain she said was excruciating.
Is there a cure, can she be mended again
Is it possible to feel whole again?
She slinked into the bed, pulled up her knees
Hugging herself she tried to sleep
There hung a silence, deathly and still
You could cut through the air, it was sad, ominous.
Minutes ticked, the white sheet turned red
The shadow of death was felt
Life slowly ebbed away, a look of peace returning on her face.
What life had failed to give her, she had found in death.

No more promises, to give or take
No more dreams, to paint or erase
No more people, near or far
No more longing for the one that she loved
No more pain, causing tears of red
No more life, just peaceful death.
She had finally reached the end of the end.

- Rukma

Change

2008-11-20T20:51:00.000+05:30

Change your hairdo; change your wardrobe; change your shoes; change your job; maybe change your vehicle too; but unless you change yours thoughts, it’s not going to change you.

Often we run around trying to change ourselves by changing everything about us. Little do we realise that what makes us are not the clothes we wear, the hairstyle we sport or the car we drive…what makes us are the thoughts in our head!

Change your thoughts and you change. Our thinking can make or break us. It’s a very simple; our energy flows where our attention goes. That is why we are forever told to think positive. Focussing on the positive, focussing on what we want makes the energy flow in that direction making it a reality. It works the same way with negative thoughts. Hence, it’s wiser to think about and focus on what we ‘want’ rather than what we ‘don’t want’. Think pain and lo! You experience it. Think happiness and lo! You experience it.

So, the next time you want to change yourself….don’t’ head for the beauty salon, simply change your thoughts.

Disclaimer: Attempt changing your thoughts at your own risk. Changing one’s thinking is a Herculean task and the writer is in no way responsible for your inability to easily change your thoughts (for the fact remains… it’s been years and she’s still working at changing hers!)

Alone to the Alone…all Alone

2008-11-20T15:06:00.000+05:30

The journey of life is undertaken alone. Yes, I know many of you will not agree with me. And you’ll argue that you have friends with you, and family, children, spouse… True! All these people are there in our lives. And they probably stand by us and give us support. But look deeper and you will realise, that in reality we always walk alone. Mind you, the word is ‘alone’ not ‘lonely’. There’s a huge difference between the two.

Some might find the journey lonely but that’s a different issue altogether. What I’m talking about is being ‘alone’. The major difference between the two is that in loneliness there is pain while in being alone there is joy or at least there’s no pain.

Gurudev says, ‘Alone to the Alone, all Alone’. If we understand this fundamental reality of life, life can be smooth sailing and far easier to handle. Unfortunately most of us fall into the trap of a support system. Not realising nor accepting that the journey is to be undertaken alone we live in the fallacy of the people around us being our co-travellers. Yes, they are our co-travellers but each on his own journey. In our life, we are alone. They will applaud, support, sympathise, empathise but the actual walking is to be done alone. Our experiences, the obstacles we meet, the failures we face, the successes we achieve are ours and ours alone. Others may empathise, hold our hand and pat our back but what we feel is ours alone. Be it the pain of a loss or the happiness of a gain, our feelings are ours alone.

So let's look within and seek our Self. Life will then be a joyous song and we will walk along, with a skip in our step. Let’s walk! Let’s walk alone!

The Touch of Love

2008-11-14T18:37:00.000+05:30

The stroke of the fingers…the warmth of the palm…the caressing touch…the love is evident in the touch of the hands. The touch of the hands is enough to lift my sagging spirit and heal my wounded soul, not forgetting the magic it creates in mending my battered and pain ridden body. I call this the healing touch. It’s not in the hands, nor in the massage, and neither in the balm being used. It’s simply love.

I’m talking about the touch of my parents’ hands. (What did you think??!!)

Whenever I’m down and out, be it fever or headache or something worse what provides instant relief is the touch of my parents’ hand. Be it my mother or my father, the moment they lay their hand on my forehead I feel a surge of energy. The sense of wellbeing returns. Be it the lightness of my Mother’s hand or the heaviness of my Father’s hand…what’s common is the experience of love. As she strokes my forehead to relieve me of a headache…as he places his palm on my forehead to check whether I’m running a temperature. Yes, it’s the touch of love.

No medicine, no balm, no counselling, no doctor can do what the touch of love can. It heals, it mends, its cures, it binds, it strengthens us. I almost wish to fall ill more often in order to experience this healing touch. Believe it or not, you have to experience it to know the healing touch. In the expression of love the physical connection is a must. Often, in the process of growing up we drift apart, not emotionally, but physically. The instances of touch reduce. It is only on rare occasions that the physical connect happens. But when it does, it’s one immense experience. Trust me…I’m still basking in the last one.

The Imp-Man

2008-11-01T00:08:00.001+05:30

This blog is for the convenience of the friend for whom I wrote this poem. The goat that he is, he doesn’t have the copy I gifted him. The poem was written a few years ago.

As I said in one of my previous blogs, friends are of different kinds. They touch our lives in different ways; what is undeniable though is that they inevitably touch our life.

This goat is one such friend. He’s been not just a friend but a guide and mentor too. He’s the one I can share my deepest problems with. He’s the one who’s helped me walk when I thought I couldn’t even stand. He helped me back on my feet and guided me back on track. He’s managed to make me laugh when all I could do was weep. He’s encouraged me to be the best when all I thought I could do was manage. He’s been my teacher and taught me far beyond books. He has cared and dared to show. He’s made time for me when actually he had none. He’s opened my mind to a whole new perspective to life. He’s given me vision when all I had was sight.

Once again, this one’s for you, you Goat!

The Imp-man

A child at heart
An imp by nature
With behaviour most incorrigible
Knowing not what he’ll do next
Definitely drives me haywire.

With twinkling eyes
And a naughty smile
He pulls my legs no end
Driving me crazy, getting me tizzy
He does with sleight of hand.

Careless chatter
Merry banter
He listens without complaining
His listening ear, his joyful cheer
Is enough to lift me when brooding.

Merry songs
Skylarking stunts
The antics of a rogue
Of all the naughty things he says and does
The snide remarks I abhor!

At times he’s most exasperating
With his mischievous ways
Setting no limit
Keeping no time
In his many escapades.

And though it may seem
Like I’m complaining
It simply isn’t true
For in his crookish, impish ways
I’ve found a friend so true.

- Rukma

Working Hard or Hardly Working

2008-10-31T22:17:00.000+05:30

If you do what you love, and love what you do, you do not have to work for a single day of your life. This is what I truly believe. And trust me, I have experienced this first hand. There are times when I have worked but most of the time I have not. Not because I was idling my time but because I was thoroughly enjoying what I was doing and hence to me it wasn’t work.

Modern science refers to this as one’s aptitude. Our ancient scriptures call it ‘swadharma’. It is only when we work in line with our swadharma that not only is our efficiency is at its peak but also our satisfaction. That is, what in modern times we refer to as work satisfaction. So often we here of people changing their jobs for lack of satisfaction. And so often we come across people who are lacklustre about their work. Every morning is another dreary start to the workplace and every evening a relief to get out of the workplace. Weekends are looked forward to right from Monday morning, while Mondays are lamented about right from Friday evening. And then there are the rare, fortunate ones who have zeroed in on their aptitude/swadharma and work in line with it. They are the ones whose face lights up at the thought of a Monday and who frown at the mention of a holiday.

That in some ways is my biography. It is a common joke among my colleagues that they should not inform me about upcoming holidays as it will upset me and my strong thoughts might somehow revoke the holidays! Not that I don’t enjoy or look forward to holidays. Everyone needs a break to do nothing. But I always look forward to getting back after the break. Come to think of it, I landed in my profession quite by chance. And thank God for that!

In the beginning I was naïve enough to think that like me everyone enjoyed working. Slowly, but surely, it dawned on me that it is not so. Most don’t enjoy what they’re doing. This is not for the fault of the job but for the fact that they’re in the wrong place. It’s something like the monster.com ad that flashes ever so often on TV. The classical dancer working at the airport directing the airplane is a classic case. They couldn’t have pictured it better.

So what is it that lands a person in the wrong job?? In some cases the person is not at all aware of what their swadharma is. Worse still, they are not even aware that there is something called ‘aptitude’. In other cases, although they know what they love doing, they still opt for other jobs for want of economic security. They compromise. How right or wrong they are, is for them to decide.

What I do know is, I have hardly worked a single day of my life, and I hope I continue to do so.
Can’t wait for Monday!

Are you indispensable?

2008-10-30T00:49:00.001+05:30

I once read somewhere, “if you want to know how indispensable you are, do the following: -
1. Take a bucket filled to the brim with water
2. Put your hand in it and swish it around.
3. Take out your hand.

The hole that is left behind in the water after you take your hand out is how indispensable you are.”

Truly hard hitting isn’t it?

On a similar theme Charles de Gaulle said, “The cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men”.

What a powerful statement! I was completely zapped on reading it. Most of us tend to live through life as though the world wouldn’t go around if not for us. Well, maybe not the whole world, but at least someone whose world we ‘think’ we are. But it is not so. The world goes on. Life goes on. You’re around, that’s great. You walk out, fine. Life goes on.

One should be wary of committing the folly of thinking one is indispensable. If ever that thought even crosses your mind remember, the cemetery is full of indispensable people.

The Light Within

2008-10-27T14:15:00.000+05:30

Come October and everyone gears up for the festival of lights. Houses are lit up, the ‘akash diyas’ are put up…homes get a thorough cleaning and of course loads of shopping. After all it marks a new beginning...so new clothes, new jewellery, new vehicle, new everything.

Expect...a new me.

We change our clothes, change the house paint, change the look of the house, change our jewellery, change our linen…but how many of us actually pause to look within and change what is of utmost importance? Do we even consider changing our thoughts, our outlook, our attitude, our perspective? Do we think of changing for the better? That after all is what matters. And unfortunately that is what is most difficult of all. How lovely it would be if we could enter a shop and buy loads of positive attitude, oodles of love, kilometres of wider vision and heaps of good thoughts. But alas! It isn’t so.

We kill the Narkasur outside but clean forget about the Narkasur within. Diwali is meant for searching deeper, for identifying our very own Narkasur and getting rid of him. It is only when the Narkasur is removed that Krishna shines forth. It is only when the lamp of knowledge is lit that the darkness of ignorance is dispelled.

With this Diwali let’s light lamps of love and cheer wherever we go. But most importantly let’s not forget to go where the light is always aglow, where every day is Diwali.

Happy journey!

What More Can I Ask For

2008-10-23T19:39:00.004+05:30

A lot of people come into our lives but there are those few who touch deep within. They come and leave an indelible mark on our life. They are the ones who touch deep within, one way or the other. They are the ones we call friends.

Here's a poem I wrote years ago for my friend Sonali, but the same stands true for all my other friends. Today I re-dedicate the poem to all my dearest friends, the stars in the night sky that is my life.

What More Can I Ask For...

Someone…
To lean on
To listen to your woes
To comfort you, to hold you close
What more can one ask for?

Someone…
To count on when times are tough
To share dreams, hopes, aspirations
Even the wildest ones
What more can one ask for?

Someone…
To correct, to reprimand you
To teach, to guide you
To heal, to nurture you
What more can one ask for?

Someone…
Who loves you the way you are
Despite your follies, your faults, your idiosyncrasies
Accepts you unconditionally
What more can one ask for?

Ti’s but a miracle…
To get without asking
To find without looking
That ‘someone’ we call a friend
So true, so fine, so dear

I don’t remember asking
But God gave you to me
What I did to deserve you,
Well, don’t ask me!
What more can I ask for?

-Rukma

'He'

2008-10-23T19:15:00.004+05:30

There are teachers, and there Teachers. Some teach, some help us learn. Some teach, some touch our lives to change them forever. Here's a poem I wrote some years back, a humble tribute to my (spiritual) Teacher.

He

He is love,
He is peace,
He is the ocean, so vast, so deep.

He is a smile,
He is laughter,
He is tears of joy and surrender.

He is a friend,
He is a neighbour,
He is a parent, nourishing forever.

He praises,
He admonishes,
He pampers and spoils.

H lifts and soars our spirits high,
He instills faith and boosts our pride.

He is a whip which keeps us in check,
He is a magic wand that casts on us a spell.

He is a teacher, who loves and reprimands,
He is a harness that keeps our feet on the ground.

He is the light,
He is the pointer,
He is the way too.

He points out the road less travelled by
Urging us to go on, walk in your own light.

- Rukma

Single & Unavailable

2008-10-23T18:57:00.000+05:30

Single & Unavailable is my newest tag line. I am most tempted to print it on the front of a t-shirt and flaunt it everywhere I go but better sense prevails (read ‘family hitting the roof’).

We singles are never left alone. Somehow people think singles need to be sympathised with, encouraged to ‘keep trying’ and definitely never ever to be left single! They need to be hooked. They need to meet more people (read ‘singles of the opposite sex’). They need to have an open mind. They need to be less choosy and more practical. They need to think about their future and old age. They need to think of companionship. They need to think of having kids. They need to think of their parents (the pain they go through by your staying single). They need to think of society. They need to think of the whole world. But never do they have to think of themselves!

But then whose needs are these? Does the single feel these needs? Or are they imagined by the non-singles? If so, then I see no reason why the single should consider them. Do we singles ever go telling the married ones to get back to being single? To think about how wonderful it is to be single? About what a big help we’re rendering the earth by not adding to the world population?

According to most to stay single is blasphemy! It is unacceptable. It is selfish. I secretly believe the reason for this outrage is plain jealousy. Mind you, a few of my married friends, young & old alike, have actually admitted this. So, I’m not far from the truth.

Everyone has a right to live their life in the way they deem fit and in a way they want to, irrespective of whether that chosen path is approved by others or not. But society (read ‘nosy people’) have a tendency to poke their nose into others’ lives but finally it’s in your hands as to how much leeway you give them to question & probe & (ill) advise. As for me, I give a damn! I say it out loud…I’m single & unavailable.

When Hunger Strikes

2008-10-23T17:50:00.000+05:30

Some people eat to live and there are others who live to eat. My friends H & G are some of those who make up the latter. Think food Think H/G or rather Think H/G, Think food. Yeah, yeah ok, I am exaggerating a bit. They do other things too! They play, they drive, they sing, they write….etc etc. No, they don’t cook!!

Recently I read somewhere, ‘A cardiac doctor’s diet: Avoid any food that tastes good’.

And that’s exactly where we falter. It is only in case of extreme sickness that we avoid food. In fact it’s the body that rejects it in a bid to give the system a rest. We just don’t feel like eating, though at times we might even be hungry.

Arguing against healthy but no so tasty food are the connoisseurs of food like H & G who believe in enjoying life to the hilt and taking each day as it comes. Eat, drink and be merry, who knows about tomorrow. And then there are others who are so cautious that they can’t go beyond salads and soups and boiled stuff. Tasty? What’s that?!

I guess the idea is, like in all good things in life, moderation. Not too loose, not too tight, just right. Strike a balance & you’ll get more years of going against the cardiac’s diet.

What about me you ask? Well, I am perennially on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

Bon appetite!!

Act, don’t react!

2008-10-13T21:03:00.000+05:30

There’s a striking quote of Voltaire’s which goes something like this, “I may often regret that I have spoken but never that I have remained silent”.

We may not realise the profundity of these messages until we experience it in person.

So often we shoot our mouth off only to repent later; a knee jerk reaction to be repented at leisure. Often these hasty reactions leave behind a gamut of hurt, pain, animosity, bitterness, broken relationships and more importantly broken hearts. Rarely these results are reversible. Like it’s said, ‘Words & hearts should be handled with care; for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair; for even when mended the crack is still there.’

We end up with all this when all that was required is a pause. A pause to think and then act, according to the best of our discrimination, unbiased by emotions. As my Teacher puts it in simple words, ‘Act, don’t react’.

I’m sure you’d agree with me wholeheartedly that that moment’s pause in the heat of the moment is far better than all the regret and guilt that we go through later. So the next time you are ready to explode, whether in speech or the written word, stop! Think! Then Act! True, it’s not easy, especially when provoked knowingly. But then, I think that’s what differentiates a boy from a man, and a girl from a woman.

Bloom for Heaven’s Sake

2008-10-11T08:32:00.000+05:30

I never cease to wonder at the ways of Mother Nature. Some of the most important lessons in life we can learn from Her. What reminded me of this is the bunch of flowers I have in my room. Flowers can make such a difference turning an otherwise drab or regular room into a bright, lively one. In recent times it has almost become a habit for me to have fresh flowers in my bedroom. Well, at the risk of contradicting myself, I do believe flowers are best left on the plant. It hurts me to pluck flowers. But at the same time, the effect they have on our mind is undeniable. Caught between these two thoughts, my friend helped me find the way out by gifting a lovely colourful bunch. It perked me up so much, that there has been no turning back since.

The various hues and shades, the freshness of the flowers freshen up my mind. In fact I recently chanced upon an article in the newspaper that said experiments have shown that the presence of flowers in the room lead to sweeter dreams. Now that’s worth trying don’t you think?

Flowers have an important lesson to teach...they bloom; irrespective of whether there’s anyone to appreciate them or not, they simply bloom. Have you ever noticed the beautiful, tiny little flowers of roadside weeds? I wonder how many people stop to notice and appreciate them. Who appreciates the flowers in the wild? Sometimes you see them growing out of a crevice in the wall, between the stones in the path where they could be trampled upon. But it doesn’t bother them. No matter where they are growing, they live by their nature and simply bloom.

Like them we should learn to bloom, whether or not we are appreciated, noticed or cared for. Simply bloom for we are endowed with such potential it is unfair to leave it dormant. Go ahead…simply bloom for heaven’s sake.

The Healing Effect of Cleaning

2008-10-10T22:27:00.001+05:30

Accept it or not all of us have cobwebs in the mind. Some have thick ones, some have very fine, ‘hardly seen’ ones. Regrets, worries, hurts, confusions, dejections, broken relationships, anger, jealousies, failures, losses and so on add fine strands to the web making it stronger and more intricate.

Just as a room full of cobwebs is uninviting, detestable, confusing and unhealthy so is a mind full of cobwebs. Such a mind can never think straight, albeit it can never think at all! It can only be a mass of confused thoughts! Such a mind cannot take decisions.

So what’s the solution? Well, like the way we clean the cobwebs in a room we need to take a brush and clean up our mind. But sadly that’s not possible. But there’s another way out…read on.

You might be surprised, you might think I’ve lost my marbles, but this is true: cleaning and tidying your room/desk/drawer/wardrobe etc. somehow clears up the mind too. I have experienced the healing effects of cleaning time and again. If I’m tensed and worried or plain upset I pick up the dust cloth and broom and clean away to get a neater room and a calmer mind. I don’t know the science behind it but probably the act of tidying and discarding of unwanted objects, clearing of the dust symbolically represents clearing up the cobwebs of the mind and we end up feeling better.

So the next time you feel down and out, don’t cry, don’t fret, don’t loll in bed, simply pick up the broom and sweep the cobwebs away!

Free to Live

2008-10-09T17:52:00.004+05:30

Born freeeee….
As free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart.

…go the lyrics of a popular song; one of my favourites in fact. Nice to sing, nice to listen to, nice to dance to (well, I love to dance to it…with gay abundance!) In fact the words are worth a thought.

We are born free, in a free country. But how free are we? Are we free to live? Are we free to follow our heart? Have you ever wondered?

I do believe we are born free, but somewhere down the line as we grow up, the shackles come on. What are these shackles? Who puts them on? Why do we allow them?

Fear is the fetter on our freedom. Fear stops us from being free. This fear could be ingrained in us from childhood. Not for want of love but out of love. Our parents suffer from their own fears and that prompts them to unwittingly pass on the fears to us. Fear of our safety, fear of loosing us. This in turn puts fear in our hearts and we grow up fearful. Some are less fearful than others but fearful all the same. Fear of society, fear of being maligned, fear of being ostracised, fear of being isolated, fear of being alone, fear of letting down, fear of letting go, fear of taking on responsibility, fear of taking decisions…and so on.

The fact is we are as free as we want to be. If we want to be free nobody can stop us. There is only one entity in this whole world who can stop us from being free and that is our own self. No one but you yourself is responsible for the way your life shapes up.

Drop the fear and you are free; free to live!!

(PS: In case you haven’t heard the Born Free song, you must. Here are the lyrics…

Born free, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows,
Born free to follow your heart.
Live free and beauty surrounds you, the world still astounds you,
Each time you look at the stars.
Stay free where no walls divide you, you're free as the roaring tide,
So there's no need to hide.Born free and life is worth living, but only worth livng,
Cause you're born free.)

Of Promises & Letdowns

2008-10-02T21:40:00.001+05:30

There is only one sure fire way of not being letdown and that is not to have any expectations. The moment you have an expectation you have opened the doors to hurt. But not to have any expectations seems humanly impossible. The next best thing would be to reduce the number of expectations.

The pain of letdown is one that I am familiar with, like just about everybody else. The pain of a let down pierces through the heart like a spear. It goes right through and through. Tears well up, the head feels light, the chest tightens…you’d almost think you’re getting a cardiac arrest. But no, it’s far worse than that. Sometimes the let down is followed by apologies galore, sometimes none whatsoever. At times the person doesn’t even realise he/she has let you down. And at times, they realise but couldn’t care less.

The letdown may be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious but the fact is that it hurts. Some wounds heal soon after, some fester for days, weeks, months, years. Sometimes we feel the wound has healed and carry on with life till just a casual remembrance brings back that familiar ache in the heart and you realise you’ve far from healed.

But why is it that we make promises that we can’t keep? Why can’t we be more realistic when we give assurances? Why promise the moon when we can’t deliver it? Promises are easy to make but extremely difficult to keep. We are all aware of this, yet we keep promising, assuring and swearing and breaking not just the promises but hearts as well in the bargain. The breaking of a heart doesn’t make a sound but it crushes into a zillion pieces. The heart bleeds, it aches, it hurts. Then follow the dismal attempts at repair and damage control. We apologise, we try to make up in other ways or worse still we make yet another promise of never to repeat the breaking of the promise. And then alls well…till history repeats.

But what if you are on the other side? What if you are the one who has letdown somebody? Even then the pain is still there, provided you really care about the person. You apologise, you try to make up for the lost deed, you are ready to do anything to erase the lapse. But alas! It isn’t that easy. In this case your tail is in that person’s hand. If only that person takes the incident objectively and forgives and forgets, only then you can relax. Otherwise….woe betide!

Made in Heaven, Suffered on Earth

2008-10-02T20:45:00.000+05:30

I often wonder who could have come up with the institution of marriage. Various reasons are stated for the need of this institution but I’m left wondering if it’s all worth it. Do we really need marriage? What is this thing called ‘sanctity of marriage’? What about ‘live in relationships’? Are they any different from marriage barring the fact that the couple hasn’t gone through the rituals and the legal procedures?

You reach the final year of college and the proverbial question pops up at every given opportunity… ‘so when are you giving us good news?’ Gender no bar, question bar bar! Try as I might I have failed to understand in what way someone’s marriage will bring happiness to the society at large.

What is this deep urgency that people feel to get someone ‘settled’? is it jealousy that raises its ugly hood knowing someone is better off than you and prompts you to urge the single & fancy free person to get married? Or is it some sadistic streak that makes them prompt you to get married? Or is it plain concern for being left ‘alone’ in old age? How the hell do you substantiate giving up of 40 good years for the sake of old age!

I know most of you will think I’m a life time member of the anti-marriage bureau. But I’m not. Marriage has it plus points too. I agree. But, it’s an individual choice. The grass isn’t green on either side. Being single has its own problems and plus points and same goes for marriage. Which is why I repeat…it’s a personal choice. Why can’t the singles be just left to be single? And one’s who are married…well...be happy being married. That’s your choice.

Everyone needs a friend

2008-10-02T01:44:00.000+05:30

Everyone needs a friend. Anyone who says he/she doesn’t is lying. I for one can vouch for the important role that friends play in one’s life. I have had friends as far back as I can remember. In fact there are two with whom I have literally grown up with. We were born around the same time and lived across the road from each other. Over the years we didn’t meet as often but whenever we did meet we continued from where we left. This I find most amazing.

Then I had my holiday friends. They came to stay at their granny’s place which happened to be in my neighbourhood. We met only during vacations and of course picked up from where we left at the beginning of each vacation.

Then there were the school friends. The three of us made a strong team and we stood by each other and enjoyed school life. This was followed by my higher secondary school friends. We had lots of fun together…and a li’l bit of studying too! And then came my college friends. A close knit group of seven, together we were fun, cute, mischievous, curious, sweet….& studious too!

My colleagues came next. Some are more than mere colleagues, we are friends, and very close at that. In between there came a special person, my teacher, my mentor who is also my friend. He gave a twist to my thinking, my perspective on life. And therein began my spiritual life. After that came a lot of friends who walk the same path as I.

But this blog is not about any of those friends. This blog is about my closest friend…my buddy. My buddy’s entry into my life was most inconspicuous. Really nothing to write home about. We met, we said hi, we acted pricy, we left. Period. Later we met again, we said hi, we argued, we picked at each other and left. And that’s when our friendship began.

Everyone needs a friend

Everyone needs a friend
Someone to stand by you
Someone who loves you
Someone who accepts you
With all your craziness.

Everyone needs a friend
Someone who encourages you
Someone who cherishes you
Someone who helps you
Without hesitation.

Everyone needs a friend
Someone who corrects you
Someone who reprimands you
Someone who stops you
When you’re on the your wrong track.

Everyone needs a friend
Someone who wipes your tears
Someone who share yours joys
Someone who cares for you
More than you can ever fathom.

I found in my buddy all this and more
Words fail me, I can write no more…

Without Him

2008-10-02T00:32:00.000+05:30

With all due respect to Feminists (well, I too qualify to be one, but not an extreme case. At least I hope I'm not. Only friends n fly would be able to confirm that) here's a poem on what it is to be without Him. Yes, you can also say Her, or even It for that matter; for now lets go beyond the grammar & punctuation and focus on the essence of the poem.

Who is 'Him' you ask? Well, you are free to relate to the 'Him' in way you like. It can be God, father, mother, friend, lover, brother, sister..... the choice is yours!

Without Him

The night without its stars
The morning without the sun
The brook without its gurgle
Like the snow in the sun.

The bird without its chirp
The flower without its scent
The grass without its colour
Like a spider without its web.

The guitar without its strings
The drum without its beat
The flute without its music
Like the trumpet without a peep.

The air without the wind
The thunder without its roar
The dog without its tail
Like a fish out of water.

Like a canvas without paint
Like a monsoon without the rains
Like a tree without roots
Like a dry leaf in the sun.

A Lifetime Plan

2008-09-30T23:00:00.001+05:30

People come into our life for a reason, a season or lifetime...says a popular email fwd. Come to think of it, it sure does make a lot of sense. How else would you explain the discontinuance of close friendships and the disappreaing of people we're close to, for no apparent reason. Like the mail says some people come into our lives for a reason and when that reason no longer exists they go away. Some people stay on for a season, a little longer while. Once that season is over, they're gone. And then there are those few who come into our life to last a lifetime. Their entry may be sudden and out of the blue, but they come and simply stay on. There is a reason that brings them into our life, but they continue to be a part of our life for a lifetime.

At every stage in life we experience this. People come, people go. Some people come and never go. They form an important part of our life and leave an indelible mark on every page of the book of our life. We cannot imagine life without them. We cannot see beyond them. Their absence is frightening and painful. Their company delightful. Ofcourse, there is also the other breed of lifetime people who add excitement to our life with the troubles they cause. My thanks to them too. Life would be boring without them.

But this blog was mainly for the people in my life who are on a lifetime plan. The one's who add colour to my life. The one's who make each day special. The one's who stand by me through the ups & downs of life.

Talking about reasons reminds me of one of my favourite poems called 'There is a reason', composed by Pujya Swami Chinmayanandaji or Gurudev as we lovingly call him. It goes like this...

There is a Reason

There is a Reason
For every pain that we must bear,
For every burden, every care
There is a Reason.

For every grief that crushes our heart
For every scalding tear we shed,
There is a Reason.

For every hurt, for every plight,
For every lonely, painful night,
There is a Reason.

Yet, if we trust God, as we all must,
It can all turn out to be for our good, as
He knows the Reason.

- Swami Chinmayananda

Kiss & make up

2008-09-29T22:31:00.000+05:30

Mellow tiffs, cold wars, steamy fights, fiery arguments....form an uncanny part of any relationship. Be it parent & child, siblings, friends, colleagues, relatives, lovers or even enemies (yes! enemity too is a relationsip)...when two people are close there's bound to be some friction some time or the other. And there's nothing wrong in that. Its natural. It provides comic(if I may say so) relief. It adds spice to an otherwise sterotype relationship. And it keeps us on our toes. And it helps in honing our skill of apologising, appeasing, cajoling, convincing & making up. I think one of the best parts of a fight is the end of it...what is called 'kiss & make up'. Whether you kiss or hug or simply say sorry, getting back together with a smile is a different feeling. The saccharine sweetness mixed with the earlier bitterness and fiery anger gives a heady feeling. The sun is shining bright. The birds are singing again. The world is beautiful once more.

When love is in the air... - Poem

2008-09-29T11:43:00.000+05:30

To continue what I said earlier about the connection of thoughts & feelings & mind set...here's another poem. Those in love would probably identify with what the poem says.

When love is in the air…

The sky is more blue
The sun is more bright
The mornings are so fresh
The night’s sublime

The flowers are sweeter
The butterflies more dazzling
The moon prettier
The evening’s velveteen.

The clouds are softer
The river more vibrant
The bees so much prettier
The rains so enchanting.

The stars in the sky have never shined so bright
The waves crashing on the shore are now a joyous sight.
The simple things in life have begun to have more life
I never realised it was such a joy just being alive.

But that is what love does to you
It changes your vision and uplifts your mood.
It adds a lilt to your voice and a skip to your step
Life begins and you never want it to end.

Each day is special, full of moments to cherish
Every minute is different, every hour unique.
There isn’t a moment when there’s no reason to smile
Life’s no more a drag but truly worthwhile.

- Rukma

The Sorry Tale - Poem

2008-09-29T10:43:00.002+05:30

The Sorry Tale

Alone walk through the woods, the less travelled road of no return.
Alas! I have strayed onto the beaten path, I choose the known despite the pain.
The stink, the pricks, the jab of broken glass with every step
Yet I keep going, the fleeting pleasures numbing the pain that goes in deep, so deep.

I see the unbeaten path, it beckons, it’s inviting, I drool at the thought of unknown findings
Yet my courage fails me and I continue with my spasms of pain and gain
Faltering, failing, falling and rising, it happens so rhythmically, you almost enjoy it.
The sadistic pleasure is intoxicating but more than that it’s the comfort of knowing.

Been down this road, fallen so often, scrapped my knees and scarred my heart
I chose the road less travelled but to no avail, it made others feel a fool, they wailed.
They dragged me back, lured me and cajoled me, and simply stopped me in my tracks.
Somewhere down the line I succumbed, heaved a heavy sigh and followed suit.

The road less travelled they say is not for you, you’re one of us, we need you
Emotions sway, thoughts go haywire, discrimination comes to a halt, the heart takes over.
Thereafter it’s a merry ride as you swing on your emotions, oft down, at times high
Is it all worth it? I might never know. To take each day as it comes is all I know.
- Rukma

M back!

2008-09-29T10:22:00.000+05:30

It's been a long blog holiday. Not for any special reason...I can probably zero in on lethargy(lazy sounds so crass!). And I'm back thanks to this friend of mine who for reasons known to him alone, is interested in reading what I write.

So here's to the Montain King!

Ode to a Mother

2008-05-11T15:59:00.000+05:30

It's Mother's day today. So ironic that we need to reserve a day to remember her. The very person who's spent the best years of her life taking care of us.Frankly, according to me this is not in sync with our Indian culture where we worship Mother. Mother is God, 'maatru devo bhavah'. Nevertheless in todays world I guess such a day is required. Anyways, even if we don't need it, the card and gift companies certainly do! Here's something I penned for my Mom...

A doctor at times, a nurse part-time
Healing cuts and mending broken hearts
With caressing kisses and tender embraces.

A teacher so oft, a guide and mentor too;
Helping us sail through the sea of life,
Be it rough seas or times sublime.

Holding my hand, leading me across the street
With her by my side the world seemed to be at my feet.

Staying up nights was a common occurrence-
As I grappled with fever she’d sit by my side
And soothe my frayed nerves with her sweet lullabies.

The lullabies she sang still echo in my heart
Oh, why did childhood have to go by so fast!

Though gentle and unassuming, weak she is not.
Her calmness belies her fortitude, her endurance
As she handles life’s crises’ with quiet forbearance.

The strength beneath the silence
I’ve oft failed to recognize;
Its only now that I’m beginning to see her in true light.

Mother my dearest I want you to know,
You’ve been a better mum than I could ever ask for.
If there’s anyone who’s lacking
It’s only me your daughter, only me your daughter…

Ode to Pani Puri

2008-03-20T00:45:00.000+05:30

Will all due apologies to Shakespeare…a pani puri by any other name is just as yummy! Be it the pani puri of Mumbai, the puchka of Kolkata, the gol gappa of Delhi…sluuurp…the pani puri reigns supreme as a gastronomic delight amongst street food. It surprises me no end as to how something so simple, unassuming & economical can be so full of flavour. But mind you, not everyone can conjure up a good pani puri. I’ve tried at different places, all over India, and can vouch for that. I for one believe there's none to beat the pani puri at Krishna's. Ah!The taste lingers for long after.

As the overflowing puri lands on your tongue and sends tingling sensations through the taste buds you come alive. As you close your gaping mouth over the puri, it goes crunch giving way to an avalanche of the soft filling. Be it garam naram chana, or the mashed potato or just about anything…. combined with the tangy, sweet chutney, along with the cool, spicy pani… the sensation is heavenly. I bet there isn’t one person in the world who has eaten pani puri and not liked it. Ofcourse some like it less and some like it more and some like me…well… we need a regular dose of it to maintain our sanity!

I remember first eating it in Ahmedabad. I must have been around 10 or so and we were on a family holiday. It was a cool evening and we had gone sight seeing. On way we stopped for a snack. Dad introduced me to it. Ever since I have been an ardent, die hard fan. I still remember the unique combination of the hot filling and cold water. Hmm…if ever there was a heaven…that was it.
God bless the soul who invented the pani puri! A thousand salutations unto thee.

Sunny Sundays

2008-03-16T19:29:00.001+05:30

I just love Sundays! And i'm sure most people do. Linger on in bed till late, no brain shattering alarm bells, late breakfast, an even later lunch, afternoon siesta, drive around town or meet up with friends, maybe a dinner out...
Basically relaxing. But what i like most about Sundays is the time with the family. Everyone's home with no hurry about getting anywhere. The kids, all 4 of them, creating a ruckus in unison, the TV vying for our attention...my bros and I lazing around doing..eh..nothing. Dad Mom busy doing..eh..nothing. My SILs hovering around the kids....the dogs doing their bit. All in all a perfectly lovely, noisy Sunny-day!

I wouldn't exchange a Homey Sunday for anything in the world. :) :)

2008-03-16T19:15:00.000+05:30

To continue with the gender bias topic...
No doubt its women who bear the brunt, but at the risk of sounding a male chauvinist I think men have their own cross to bear. How? Read on.
1. Even in these so-called liberated times, men are expected to go out and earn the bread and butter. The option of staying at home and looking after the children, while the wife goes out to work, is not open to them. They have this option only if they have the strength to withstand the gossip, the ridicule and the general disapproval. What is wrong in being a house husband when it’s perfectly fine for a woman to be a house wife?
2. If a girl does not take up a career it’s nothing to worry about, but does a man have that option? I have enough girl friends who have no career and perfectly fine staying home and managing the house while their husbands are running around to earn a living. I don’t see anyone looking down on these women.
3. When it comes to marriage parents want their daughter to marry a man who can give her a secure future. ‘A well settled boy’ is a major criterion. It would never occur to them that their daughter should be able to fend for herself.
4. Women have been moving into their husband's houses for centuries and that’s never been an issue. If a girl can shift to her husband’s house why is it demeaning for a boy to shift to his wife’s house?
5. If a boy cries he’s a sissy, if a girl cries, it’s perfectly acceptable and in fact attracts sympathy and comforting from people around. Why? Don’t boys have feelings? Shouldn’t they have the right to express without facing scorn?
6. If a girl plays cricket she is labelled a tomboy but if a boy plays with a doll…heaven forbid! Society is more indulgent on girls acting like tomboys but there is a stigma attached to a boy being effeminate. Why?
7. Society has a tendency to doubt the masculinity of men who design clothes for women, or male make-up artists, or men who follow any profession that breaks away from the regular. Somehow, men who don't hold nine to five jobs with a salary cheque that puts food on the table are not deemed manly enough. But women taking up traditionally male roles are admired and hallowed.

Frankly, I don’t agree with the feminist’s demand of equality or being ‘like men’. We have enough men around, why do we want to turn women into men? It’s high time we accepted that men and women are different. Mind you, different neither means inferior or less in any way. It just means...hmm…different. According to me, the very fact that we ‘want to be like men’ means we consider ourselves less than them. We are not. We are equal, but different. Like say sugar and honey. They’re both sweet, yet they’re different.

2008-03-12T16:00:00.000+05:30

Recently Woman's day was celebrated. Frankly, I'm not proud of having such a day...a day dedicted to women. As though we are some relics from yesteryear. And if nothing else it gives men a chance to joke.. "What about a day for men? and you talk of gender bias". But jokes aside time and again we hear appalling stories about women being victimised. Female foeticide continues at an alarming rate in some states in India. Ironically those very same states who are facing these problems have been time and again producing women who have proved their mettle and placed India on the world map. We have all heard enough and more about the subjugation and ill treatment of women and the bias shown to the male progeny. And many of us have experienced it first hand, some time or the other, to a lesser or greater extent.

Ola!

2008-03-12T15:49:00.000+05:30

...and finally D day dawns. After being asked, cajoled, forced, threatened, reminded (umpteen times) I'm finally blogging. Happy Mr.Pai? :) Well i don't blame him for fuming. I'm the one who got him here, but never got down to joining him. Hehe... but finally..HERE I AM!!

What will I write on? Well, this, that and the other. Anything that catches my fancy. Everytime my fingers itch to hit the keys on my laptop, and words & thougths overflow from my tiny brain..this is where you'll find them. ot me this blog will be something like the 'thought sieve' (did I get the word right?) from Harry Potter.

Laters!